If Only I Could Change It
by shewhowillrise
Summary: What would of happened if Steve had told Tony about his parents from the beginning.


**AN** : I wrote this in 3 days, and currently uploading to FFNET at 2:52 am. So, 1) sorry about no emphasis with italics and such and 2) sorry for any grammar mistakes.

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Tony's in his workshop, doing small projects on his workbench, still recovering from his surgery. The blue hues of the holoscreens shine off of his shoulders, making skin that Steve knew was tough look soft. He wants to run his hands up those arms, to get to where his back meets his neck, and press his thumbs there. All he wants to do is ease all of Tony's stress from his shoulders.

But he can't. Not now anyway. He has to tell him, before he loses the nerve to.

"Tony?" He waits for Tony to look up at him, a heavy stone forms in his stomach when he sees the genius smile at him.

"Hey Steve! You're just in time for-" Steve needs to stop him before he's sucked up in Tony's adorable rambles about his tech.

"We need to talk." Those four words make Tony instantly silent, his smile drops and his eyes widen.

"What'd I do?" Tony's eyes move rapidly, looking at random spots on Steve's body, as if he was looking for a sign, a pin saying something.

"It's not about our relationship," Steve reassures him, a flashback of the time when Steve said those words to talk about something mundane and Tony thought that he was breaking up with him. Tony visibly relaxes, putting, whatever it was he was working on, down on the table. Tony moves to get up, but Steve tells him this is something he wants to sit down for.

Steve breathes in, and out, and in, and out. He has to do it. He promised Nat he would do it, because it had to be him. He looked up at Tony, he wouldn't hide from this, hide from Tony's emotions.

"Remember when I told you that Bucky was alive, and that Hydra had brainwashed him to do their bidding, killing people?" He asks, hoping that stays in Tony's mind when he tells him. Tony nods, his eyebrows knitted together. Steve had to either say it now, or never say it, no sugar coating it, no beating around the bush.

"Hydra sent him to kill Howard," he says, tears pricking his eyes as he saw Tony's eyes widen in realization, taking a sharp intake of breath. Tony's left arm started shaking as he tilted to lean the middle of his chest on the palm, rubbing where his reactor used to be. Steve knew the signs, a panic attack. He paced forward, kneeling in front of Tony, grabbing his right hand and putting it over his own heart. Tony always said that Steve's heartbeat called him down.

"Breathe Tony, " he whispered, interlocking his fingers over Tony's hand, "Breath in," he said, reaching up slowly with his other hand to stroke Tony's cheek in time with his instructions, "Breath out," Steve exaggerated a breath out, "And breath in," he repeated that until Tony got his breathing spaced out.

Steve went to pull away, to give Tony space, when Tony practically lept at him. Steve was knocked down on his ass, getting a lapful of a crying Tony.

"He killed my mother," Tony cried into his shoulder. Steve held him a little tighter, grateful that he didn't get the punch in the face he was expecting.

Later Tony asks how long did he know before telling him. Steve's honest. A month. Which means a week since he's been let out of the hospital, seven days with plenty of chances to tell him. He expects either Tony will sleep on the couch in the workshop, or Steve would be kicked out to the couch in the living room.

He's wrong on both accounts. Tony clings to him in bed, asking Steve to lure him to sleep with gentle and slow strokes down his back. Steve's happy to oblige.

A few months later Tony comes to him with an idea for a robot, not unlike his Iron Legion, that could protect the world from aliens. Steve remembers the movie Tony makes him watch, with something that was made similarly, a program called Skynet. He voices his thoughts to Tony, hating how the self-doubt flows into his brown eyes, but he promised to Tony that he would listen to anything he needed him to listen to, but he would be honest about what he thought.

Steve also knows the idea is more because of Tony's own fear, of his PTSD, than anything else. Tony decides not to make Ultron.

Then a few months later they storm a Hydra base, and get attacked by a witch that shows Tony his worst fears. Steve still feels jittery about his own vision, but he holds Tony close as he hears him mutter that he has to make Ultron now, it's the only way.

Steve says that Ultron isn't the way, that they can face what's coming, together.

"That's not a real plan Steve," he says. Steve considers this. Tony wants a plan of action, not just promises that Steve would be at his side.

"Then we will make a plan of action together," he said, hugging Tony tighter to himself, he doesn't want to lose Tony anymore than Tony wants to lose him.

He feels Tony nod into his chest, the hands clutching at his sides move to circle around his waist.

He kisses Tony's hair before running his fingers through it. It stop's Tony's shaking.

He finds Tony a couple days later in the lab at midnight, plans for Ultron around him.

He stares at shock at the holoscreens that have the plans for the robot surrounding Tony. Tony who's muttering to himself about aliens.

Steve surges forward, grabbing hold of Tony's arm from behind, pulling him back from the screens. Tony struggles against him, shrieking. Tony punches him in the face, stunning them both that they freeze.

Steve can see sparkles of red in Tony's eyes. He should have known.

He surges forward again, trapping Tony's face to his chest, as well as his arms. Tony struggles, bites him, headbutts him, but Steve just holds a little tighter, until Tony stills.

Steve thinks maybe he's fallen asleep against his chest when he hears sobbing.

He kisses Tony's hair and rubs his back before picking him up. Tony's legs wrap around his waist and he carries him to their room.

The next morning the red sparkles are gone from his eyes.

They have a party to celebrate the successful mission of getting the specter. Steve doesn't leave Tony's side, worries that the Witch still has control.

Across the room, Steve can see Sam waving at him. Steve informs Rhodey that he has urgent business, and immediately Rhodey plasters himself to Tony's side. They both start laughing about Rhodey's mission. Steve's glad he told Rhodey what happened last night. Steve's glad Tony has a friend that would stick by him, no matter what.

Steve meets up with Sam, but still drags him up the ramp to talk. Tony knows but he doesn't want to hear, so he can heal in peace.

"What'd you find?" Steve asked.

"Jarvis pinpointed that he's in Bucharest," Sam said, bringing out a tactical holophone. It's an a picture of a man at a market. He looks to be buying plums.

"How long has he been there?" Steve asks, zooming in on the man's face. Even with the long hair and the slight stubble, he recognizes the man as James Barnes.

"Jarvis reviewed the footage, said that he's most likely been there for a month or two," Sam says, taking the phone to bring up the oldest video file.

"Two months, the longest time he's stayed somewhere," Steve says, hope filling his heart of seeing his friend again.

"Yeah, which means he feels safe there. When do you want to act?" Sam asks, but Steve doesn't have an answer. He needs to stay with Tony, to make sure that the Witch doesn't still control him and his fears. But he also needs to get Bucky back.

He knows he has to choose one over the other, he hates that he has to, but he made a promise. He intends to keep it.

"Send Natasha, Hill, and Agent 13 with you," Steve decides. Sam gives him a confused look.

"You don't want to go after him?"

"He might not remember me, or he will and disappear again. And Tony needs me right now, so no. I'm not going after him myself."

Sam nods, walking over to where Natasha and Bruce are talking at the bar.

Tony has another attack that night, waking up Steve when he gets out of bed. Steve grabs Tony's wrist before he could get up.

"Where you going?" Steve asks, dreading the answer, please don't let it be-

"To the lab," Tony responds. Steve wraps his arms around Tony's stomach, pulling him back under the covers.

"Let me go to the lab Steve," Tony demands, struggling against his hold.

"Why do you need to go to the lab?"

"To finish Ultron," but instead of continuing to fight, Tony stills and the tension in his arms relax.

"Why won't you let me protect you?" Tony asks, turning to Steve. His eyes glow red in the dark.

"Because I'm trying to protect you," Steve says, relaxing when he sees the red fade.

Steve asks Thor for help after the fourth night. He says he'll check the halls of Asgard's library for an answer.

The Witch gives up after a month. Tony has a massive migraine after she finally leaves his head. Steve massages Tony's neck and Bruce makes medicine similar to the prescription Shield had Clint take after Loki mind controlled him for Tony.

Tony feels better five days later. Thor hasn't returned and it worries Steve.

Sam, Natasha, Maria, and Sharon are on the news a week after that.

The reason why the Witch gave up on Tony was so she could focus on them. She blew up a building trying to get them. Killing eleven people and injuring over twenty. Bucharest citizens are angry, claiming that the Avengers brought the villain to them. The Bucharest government had no idea they were in their borders.

The Avengers are visited by Secretary Ross, to speak to them about what their possible future is.

Tony's able to hold off the Accords for now, but Steve knows that if something big like this happens again, they might not be that lucky.

Tony doesn't tell Ross that Bucky is at the Avengers Tower. Tony still won't talk to him about what Bucky did, but Steve feels grateful that Tony is protecting his friend.

After that, the Witch has started to lay low, and presumably her brother. They're back at Sokovia, using their powers to help the poor in their country, and staying out of the Avengers way.

Six months later, Jarvis alerts the team that Brock Rumlow is in Lagos, Nigeria. Steve, Sam, Natasha, Maria, and Sharon go, expecting a quick in-and-out mission.

It ends with over thirty casualties.

Tony can't block the Accords anymore.

He tells Steve he doesn't want to.

They talk it out instead of arguing. Steve considers Tony's side and can see why Tony wants this. Steve doesn't agree as much as Tony does, but he can see the help the Accords can give.

Steve sighs and says he's going to retire.

Tony's shocked at his statement before saying he's going to retire too. As an Avengers. He wants to mentor the younger heroes. He already has his eye set on one. A kid from Queens.

Steve wonders if they had kids if they would be in the hero business, which parent they would take after, or if they would want to run Stark Industries.

Steve's informed that his old flame, Peggy Carter, had passed away in her sleep. He has Tony on his right and Sam on his left.

A familiar voice starts speaking. He looks up and sees Agent 13. Sharon Carter, Tony later tells him. This must be the Sharon that Peggy always talked about. And the Cousin Ronnie Tony loved.

The Accords are signed by Natasha, Sharon, Maria, Sam, Rhodey, and two new heroes. Hope van Dyne, who's Wasp, and her boyfriend Scott Lang, the Ant Man that Sam fought a few months ago.

Clint retires, saying he wants some time at home. Natasha gives Clint a knowing look when he says that, leaving Steve confused.

The Accords Committee lets Tony become a mentor for underaged heroes who can't sign the Accords yet. Instead they require their guardian(s) to sign off on a more lenient Accords, one that also holds guidelines on what the minor could and could not go against when fighting. It also includes a curfew for their super alias.

It takes a few weeks, but May Parker lets her nephew, Peter, be Spider-Man.

Watching them bond in the lab and on training exercises makes Steve think back to when he wondered what it would be like to have kids with Tony.

He decides he wants that with him.

A few months later, he's on one knee, holding up a box that holds a ring. Tony's hands cover his mouth and tears prick his eyes as Steve makes a speech about loving him and their life together.

Sharon smiles at him the next day, congratulating him. He asks her when she's going to pop the question to Rhodey. She smiles softly but doesn't blush.

"Soon," is her answer.

They're in the middle of making plans for their wedding when a portal opens up to a man who looks like he could be Tony's older brother based on his goatee alone.

Thor's hair is cut short and he's covered in dirt, but he's alive, and comes with a warning.

Tony's hand clenches around Steve's as Thor speaks of Thanos. Steve rubs his thumb slowly over the back of his hand in hopes of Tony catching on and breathing in time with it. Tony does, calming down slightly.

Thanos has the mind stone, taken from Asgard. Thor says he remembers that Thanos said he was on his way to the Reality Stone next, which he reveals, has been given to a Collector on another planet.

"He'll be after the Time Stone next," Thor says, pointing to the necklace on Strange's neck.

Steve and Tony alert the Accords Committee, and they're reactivated as Avengers until this fight is over.

A ship enters Earth's atmosphere, it's in a shape of an 'O' or a 'Q'. Aliens come out of it. Thor says they aren't Thanos, "they're his children ."

He doesn't see Tony go after the ship as it leaves orbit, he's to busy fighting the ogre looking alien. He only sees the ship leaving when he's knocked down to his back. He's alert and on his feet in seconds.

"Tony please tell me you aren't on that ship," he pleads through the comms.

"I'm sorry Steve," Tony says on the other side. "He got Strange. I have to make sure the Stone doesn't fall to Thanos' hand."

This feels all too familiar. This is what Peggy must have felt. It felt like his heart was being ripped in two, and a piece of it wasn't going to be on Earth anymore.

He turns to Strange's associate.

"Get me up there," he orders, pointing up at the ship. The man give him a look before sighing and opening up a portal. Steve jumps into it, his shield ready for whatever's on the other side.

It's Tony with his repulsors aimed at him. The mask and the arm lower.

"Steve? What, what are you-" but Steve cuts him off with a kiss.

"I told you we were going to fight this together, " he says, kissing him again.

They manage to fight Squidward and free Strange, with the help of Peter. Who Tony scolds for not following his orders to stay on Earth. Peter says back that he can't protect Earth if there is no Earth.

Steve sees a lot of Tony in Peter.

The ship is boarded by other aliens. They're demanding where a person named Gamora is. The most human looking one has a gun on Peter until he looks at Steve.

"Captain America?" the man asks, 'laxing his arm in shock just enough for Peter to get out of his grip.

"You're from Earth," Tony says.

"No, I'm from Missouri," he argues back.

"That's on Earth, dipshit."

Titan is barren, like a large desert. Steve keeps a watchful eye on Tony, knowing he doesn't like deserts all that well because of his last visit to one.

Strange says he has an idea, after falling two feet off the ground from a weird meditation.

They're joined by Thanos later. They put their plan into action, having Mantis drop until him, lulling him hopefully into sleep.

Strange has his legs and arm tied down as Tony, Parker, and Steve work to pull off the gauntlet. Quill, the other Peter, starts talking to Thanos, asking about Gamora. Steve barely listens, focusing on the gauntlet until he hears Tony talking to Quill, telling him to call down.

Steve turns to look at him, he can hear his heavy breathing, see his clenched fists, and pounces onto Quill, stopping him from making the punch. Quill growls at him, but Tony and Peter are able to get the gauntlet off, Thanos falling to the ground, asleep.

He lets go of Quill then, watching him walk up to Thanos and shooting him in the head.

Another alien comes over a hill. She's blue and has different cybernetic implants patching up her body.

Quill looks at her with tears in his eyes.

She looks back and says in a computerized tone that reminds him of Jarvis, "I know how to bring her back." She takes one of the stones off of the gauntlet and seemingly out of dust, a green woman appears. Quill crushes her in a hug.

The group of aliens, the Guardians of the Galaxy, offers them a ride home.

They're in the Guardians' ship, curled up on the couch together. Tony's coming off his high of adrenaline, shaking. Steve does his best to soothe and comfort him through his panic attack.

When they return to Earth, the Guardians take the purple stone, Thor takes the red and blue, the cybernetic woman, Nebula, takes the orange one, and Tony is left with the yellow.

"Do you think Wakanda could harness the power to help Bucky?" is the first thing Tony says after Steve asks him what's he going to do with the stone.

Steve feels warmth spread, glad that Tony's willing to help Bucky.

Wakanda opened its doors to the public a few months ago. Steve had been looking into their science division for Bucky for awhile now. Steve found it no surprise that Tony would know.

Wakanda takes the stone and Bucky, but make no promises.

Within a few months, Bucky has recovered.

Tony and Steve agree on a date for the wedding.

Tony looks beautiful coming down the aisle, his suit and shirt white, his vest gold, and his tie red. He looks powerful. It brings Steve to tears.

Steve stares and smiles at Tony the whole ceremony. Tony smiles and stares back.

Steve thinks this is too good to be real.

The reception is wonderful. He has his first dance as a married man, and he didn't step on his husband's feet. He does trip a lot, making Tony laugh. They smoosh cake into each other's mouths. Steve kisses away the frosting on Tony's lips.

When the reception has calmed down, Bucky stands up, tapping his glass with a fork.

"A toast," he says, "To Steve and Tony."

Everyone raises their glass, saying To Steve and Tony.

"Growing up with Steve," he starts, "I always wondered, where's my BARF glasses?"

Steve blinks.

"Steve? "

Steve sits up on his bed and takes off the translucent glasses. The fantasy melts away slowly, leaving him in his room alone, with only his tears.


End file.
